Is Fear a Factor in Failing at Habits?
Pardon the alliteration, but is fear a factor in failing at habit forming? Personally, I would have to answer, f—yeah (oh sorry, had to do it).
I am once again a vegetarian. I won’t go into the details as to why, but I sincerely doubt I’ll be eating meat for a long, long time.
So it’s only been since yesterday, after a 13 year meaty break since my last bout of vegetarianism (that lasted about 6 years), and already I am having failure anxiety. I am thinking about future dinner parties, and whether or not I will still serve some large portion of flesh as the main course (gee, I already sound like a veggie!) and if lentils are really a good idea for daily consumption. I worry that I will be seen as a picky eater, hard to please, whereas for the past 13 years I’ve been adventurous enough to try any tentacled, left-ventricled or other iron-rich clot presented to me. I already heard myself asking the bf yesterday “was that a cow or a pig?” while eyeing his massive Montreal Smoked Meat sandwich. It may have sounded like it came from a place of disgust, but my mouth was watering. I worry that I will be one of those annoying, preachy vegetarians that I have ridiculed for the past decade, and yet secretly envied. I’m not sure if I can refuse that greasy, peppery temptress known as salami. I’m worried that I will feel deprived.
What if I fail, and go on a bacon binge? Conversely, what if I succeed and never taste sirloin again?
I think fear has held me back from several habits over the course of my life, and I think this is most likely true for many people. I think many of us look at the big picture and feel intimidated. The strange part is that it’s not just the fear of failing, but the fear of succeeding. Success means change, and as much as I love it, there’s something frightening about it as well. Unchartered waters, and all that.
Although my new habit can’t really be slapped on a helpful graph, a la HabitShaper, as I have decided to quit cold Tofurkey, I am reminding myself to think small, get used to the idea of my new diet. It’s not like I eat meat all that often, anyhow, so why get all worked up? Today I will deal with what I need to eat. I will go grocery shopping and buy what I need. This is a small but important step.
Tomorrow is another day, and I’ll deal with challenges as they arise, one meatless day at a time.
